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The Christmas tree in Melissa Dervay’s living room still stands decorated and lit, but the festive cheer it once promised is painfully absent.
The only gift Dervay wanted this year was to have her missing teenage daughter Emmarae home, to “hug her and let her know it’s all going to be okay.” Emmarae Gervasi, 14, has been missing for three weeks, and for her heartbroken mother, each day feels heavier than the last.
“Emma is a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a cousin and a friend,” the Melville mother said tearfully, standing near the tree that saw no presents this holiday season. “She is loved by so many people in this family and in this community.”
Emmarae went missing on Dec. 9, according to Suffolk County police detectives investigating her disappearance. Specifically, her father said, she walked out of his Patchogue home barefoot and without a jacket about 5 p.m. to retrieve something from a truck in the driveway, but ended up entering a blue Honda that drove away.
Much of the attention over Emmarae’s disappearance has been fueled by her father Frank’s social media posts, which have documented his relentless independent search for her. In posts that have sparked both sympathy and derision, Frank Gervasi has threatened to harm anyone who may be holding her.
Dervay, who divorced Gervasi in 2014, has meanwhile opted for a prudent approach. She has stayed in the background, relying on law enforcement and quiet hope to bring her daughter home, even as her fears grew about what might have happened.
“As parents, we instinctively want to help our children when they’re in times of need,” Dervay, 48, a special education teacher, told Greater Long Island. “I can’t protect her right now, and it’s heartbreaking to say the least. I am relying on others to locate my daughter and bring her back to safety.”
Dervay’s emotions shift between the joy of recalling her daughter’s exuberant, full-of-life personality; the pain of the trauma that caused her to run away in the past; and the hollow fear of imagining the worst.
Napping has become her refuge. Sleep gives her a fleeting reprieve from reality, she said.
“That’s when she comes to me. Emma’s right here,” Dervay said, softly pointing to the side of her head. “The other night, it was so vivid. She came into my my room, and she was all dirty. She said ‘I need to take a shower.’ I said, ‘Ok, go ahead and come back here and we’ll snuggle.’
“I remember feeling her and smelling her. It wasn’t a dream. It was like a vision,” she continued. “And then I woke up and she wasn’t there. It was so real. The pain I felt when I woke up and realized it was a dream was unbearable.”
Emmarae: Girls flag football pioneer
Dervay describes her Emma as a kind and friendly soul, the type of child who would go up to someone in the store and compliment them on their shirt. She recalls how her daughter’s eyes would light up whenever she talked about her dreams and ambitions.
Emmarae is also a talented athlete, her mom said. In fourth grade, she was recruited to play youth flag football with the boys. Other girls quickly followed, and soon Emmarae was the quarterback of a new girls flag football team.
“That was definitely a very proud moment,” said Dervay, who grew up in Melville and graduated from St. Anthony’s High School.
Now, Dervay’s happy memories are clouded by the troubles Emmarae has endured during her adolescence, a journey marked by pain, confusion and a struggle with addiction.
An ‘A’ student in middle school
Emmarae excelled early in life, matriculating from Half Hollow Hills’ Sunquam Elementary School and earning A’s during her first year of middle school, Dervay said. But as her life progressed, a personal traumatic event led her to spiral, resulting in significant behavioral changes and struggles with substance use.
The teen has been treated at Outreach, a residential addiction treatment center in Brentwood, and Sagamore Children’s Psychiatric Center in Dix Hills, among other facilities.
Emmarae’s journey has been marked by profound pain and confusion, and according to her family, she was eventually targeted by exploitative individuals who manipulated her into using drugs. One of Frank Gervasi’s immediate fears over his daughter’s disappearance was that this exploitation might be happening again.
Dervay said her daughter appeared to be doing well at Sagamore this spring before county authorities abruptly transferred her 1,300 miles away to Newport Academy treatment center in Duluth, Minnesota. Just two days after arriving, Emmarae ran away from the facility and was reported missing in the media.
When police found her, she allegedly assaulted an officer, which landed her in a juvenile detention center in Minnesota, where she remained until September. Afterward, she returned to Long Island to live with her father in Patchogue. During this time, Melissa Dervay did not see her daughter.
In fact, over the last eight months, she only saw Emmarae briefly over Thanksgiving. That short visit inside the kitchen of Dervay’s Melville home was the last time Emmarae was in her mom’s presence.
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‘Enveloped by her energy’
“When she came into the home on Thanksgiving, it was a surreal experience being able to see her face after all of those months,” Dervay said. “I was enveloped by her energy. My knees nearly buckled — just to be able to enjoy her through all of my senses. Seeing her in such close proximity and smelling her perfume. It was a fleeting moment that was gone as quickly as she came.”
While profoundly saddened, Dervay remains steadfast in her determination to shield her and Frank Gervasi’s two sons, ages 16 and 17, from any potential harm related to Emmarae’s disappearance. At the same time, she focuses on providing emotional support to the boys, who live with her full-time.
Her support system is anchored by her mother, Karen, and her brother, Doug, both of whom have expressed profound love for Emmarae and deep concern over her prolonged disappearance.
Finding ‘a sign of hope’
Two days before Christmas, Karen Dervay sat and asked God for a sign — a reason to hope for her granddaughter’s safe return home.
“I don’t usually make deals with God, but I just said, if I see a deer today, it’s going to be a good sign,” she explained. “So I looked out of my bedroom window where I usually see deer. And there were no deer. I went into Emma’s bedroom and looked out her window, and there were three deer on the front lawn staring up at me.”
The days of uncertainty regarding his niece are particularly unsettling for Melissa Dervay’s brother Doug.
“I work in a bakery, and I serve ice cream to children. I look at them and I think of Emma. I see Emma’s face in each of their’s,” he said. “That girl is very special to me. And I want the world to know how much she is loved, and how agonizing this is for our family.”
Amid the heartbreak and unease, Melissa Dervay has clung to a singular wish this holiday season.
“I just want to be able to hold her in my arms — to hug her and let her know it’s all going to be ok,” she said tearfully, standing in front of a Christmas tree that saw no presents this year. “I want her to tell that we’re going to get her the help she needs. And that she can be a kid again.”
Dervay’s plea to the public is simple: “If anyone knows anything or sees her, please reach out to law enforcement. I just want her to come home.”
Top photo: Melissa Dervay expressed her profound sadness over her missing daughter, Emmarae Gervasi, 14 of Patchogue (Brian Harmon photo).
