Community rallies around North Carolina dad who died celebrating at Patchogue bar

To the men of F3 Waxhaw, he was “One Star” — the guy who showed up before sunrise to build community out of sweat, determination and shared purpose.

To Jose Ronchetta, he was the friend who made a Friday night by the river in Patchogue feel like the best day of the year.

And to a bar full of strangers at Dublin Deck Tiki Bar & Grill in Patchogue, Ross Petras — dressed in red, white and blue on a summer afternoon and night — he was just a man having the time of his life.

On June 19, those three worlds collided in grief when at about 9:20 p.m., Petras, 49, of Waxhaw, North Carolina, collapsed at Dublin Deck and was later pronounced dead. He was in town visiting with family on the North Shore and was spending that sun-filled Friday rooting for U.S. soccer and later dancing with two close friends, all three dressed head-to-toe in patriotic gear, as the local band Decadia performed on the bar’s stage.

Staff rushed to help him, performing CPR, before emergency crews arrived, witnesses said. The band, mid-set when Petras collapsed, posted about the moment on Facebook the next day, not knowing yet if the man had died.

“We in Decadia feel the need to at least acknowledge the traumatic experience last night, while performing at the Deck a man collapsed and went into cardiac arrest,” the band wrote. “Our thoughts and prayers go out to him and his family and friends … Life is precious, treat it that way.”

Suffolk Police confirmed they received the emergency call just after 9:20 p.m. and have ruled Petras’ death non-criminal.

Ronchetta, one of the two friends who’d matched him in flag-print that day and who spent part of the day at the Village Idiot in Patchogue rooting for the U.S. soccer team in their World Cup win over Australia, said it had been exactly the kind of day Petras lived for.

“He was the life of every party,” Ronchetta wrote. “We had one of the best days possible together as friends doing all the things we love.”

Petras leaves behind his wife of 27 years, Kristen, and their three children, Halen, Kiley and Christopher.

A GoFundMe for the family has raised more than $51,000, with organizers describing him as “a real-life hero to his children” and “a best friend to everyone he met.” On his last day, the page notes, he was doing what he loved most — listening to music, dancing, getting ready to sing.

That instinct to make people feel like they mattered was hardly limited to one night in Patchogue. It was Petras’ calling card back home, where he helped lead the Waxhaw chapter of F3 — Fitness, Fellowship and Faith, a national network of free, peer-led outdoor workouts built to strengthen men through community.

Days after his death, 116 members of F3 Waxhaw — including Petras’ son Christopher — gathered at Bushwood, a workout site Petras had helped found, to grieve together under his favorite house rule: collars required, sleeves forbidden.

“We lost a shining human, a brother, a father, and a friend,” the group wrote on Instagram, sharing video of dozens of members offering fist bumps in his memory. Petras’ wife and children joined the group’s closing Circle of Trust, where his wife shared the philosophy he lived by: leave nothing unsaid, wear the crazy outfits, sing loud, dance bold, be a hero to your kids.

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Greater Long Island contacted Dublin Deck Bar & Grill seeking comment about the incident and the response from staff that evening. The business and ownership did not respond by publication time.

_{Top: Ross Petras (middle) poses for a selfie taken with friends in Patchogue on the day he died (Facebook/Jose Ronchetta).}